Until my second trimester of pregnancy, I continued baking actively to sustain the home business I spent the last 5 years before building up. Once I reached 14 weeks, I stopped. I let go of all the work I had put in and said goodbye to my clients and customers. The plan was to go on our belated honeymoon in Italy, before returning to take it easy. We expected that I was going to be less mobile once my belly swelled further with our three babies within. For those of you unaware, we wound up losing them at 23+4 weeks.
What’s the plan now?
I did think of returning back to full time baking, but was hesitant. I don’t want to begin all over again, gathering cafes to collaborate with, contacting customers to ask them to order from me once more. It doesn’t work like that. Furthermore, Florian and I plan to continue trying to start a family. I prefer not to start Butterfingrrs up again, only to have to stop further into pregnancy. After what happened with my last pregnancy, I don’t want to risk overexerting myself with work even if our loss was totally unrelated.
I also considered going into full time work in the meantime. I was offered a job a couple years back at the hotel I used to work at as a pastry commis. It is the only (or one of the few?) hotel in Singapore with 6 stars and I applied to return there to be a guest relations officer.
The interview went well but the timing wasn’t right. The director of guest relations who headed the interview actually gave me his card and invited me to contact him directly whenever I was ready. However, I understand how much it means to Florian for me to be home when he returns from work. Also, the shift work doesn’t play well into trying for a family. Moreover, if we manage to conceive soon, I would again, prefer to slow down.
For now, I’m putting my time and effort into trying to build Seeking the Rainbow, which is my tribute to our three angel babies. It is an online magazine raising awareness on pregnancy/infant loss. In doing so, I want to reach out to women who are suffering at the loss of their child, that they may find hope and light in the personal stories of those who have lost as well. It will mean so much to Florian and I if you can support us on this and spread the word.
I’m also back in the kitchen as mentioned in my second last post. I’ve reunited with my KitchenAid – which is in dire need for servicing by the way. Still, it’s a real workhorse and continues to help me churn out delicious baked treats even after consecutive years of daily use. Baking is sweet therapy to me and it’s wonderful being able to bake for fun – no stress of deadlines, no pressure to get things perfect, no panic attacks when an influx of orders come in.
Currently, I’ve decided to bake because I want to, and take up the odd order from private customers. Getting back to baking purely for leisure rather than work has been like a breath of fresh air. I am bound by few constraints so I can be as creative as I want to be with flavours and ingredients.
That being said, I decided to stick to something a little more basic here. Like a cupcake. Because cupcakes are happy little bites of pleasure. They are pretty to look at and yummy to eat. Even better, these lychee cupcakes are straightforward to make!
Lychee Cupcakes (Makes 16 pcs)
240g Lychees, pureed
7g Baking Powder
- Preheat oven to 180 deg C.
- Combine lychee puree and milk. Set aside
- Cream butter with sugar until light and fluffy.
- Add eggs one at a time. Beating in well after each addition.
- Add dry ingredients (combined and sifted) and lychee mixture alternatingly – beginning and ending with dry ingredients.
- Pipe or scoop into lined muffin tins.
- Bake 18-24 min until springy to the touch and golden brown.
I piped Italian buttercream rosettes scented with rosewater to finish. You can use your favourite buttercream recipe and flavour it or keep it plain. The lychee cupcakes are perfect even without the cream. Light, fruity, and not too sweet. You can always substitute lychees for mangoes, or bananas, or dragonfruit. Just make sure not to use a fruit that has high water content such as watermelons or oranges.
I hope these cupcakes will fill your heart and your home with sweet delight. May they fill the stomachs of those you love, and have you all feeling warm and snug in the company of one another. Savour each mouthful the way we ought to savour the presence of our loved ones!