It’s that time of year to say Bye to the 365 days that have passed, and Hello to the next 365 days ahead. I cannot help but reflect and be in awe at all that has happened to me in 2017. It’s been a full year since I moved in with Flo, a whole 52 weeks of ironing practice starting from zero, regularly doing household chores and keeping our home neat, growing physically and emotionally with respect to anorexia, growing my home baking business, forging closer bonds with existing friends, making new friends, appreciating my family even more so now that I live away from them, and overcoming life’s ups and downs with Flo. It’s been a helluva ride.
The last half of the year has been a little rough losing my Aunty Judy, then Grandpa P, and most recently, Sook Gong. Last week, I was told that Gary from PB Cafe passed on at 6am one morning when he hit his head falling off his bed while having a seizure. His younger brother only found him 12 hours later by which time it was already too late. I think now of how transient life is. How we can be here one second, and gone in a flash. Really, when God wants you home, He’ll take you home. So in the short time we have here in this world, let’s spread more love towards each other, be kind to one another, and be quick to forgive. As I always say to Flo in moments of unhappiness, we can choose to be happy together, or waste the rest of the day holding on to grudges. Let’s choose the former. And it’s true, the best thing about making happy memories together is that you’ll never regret those moments. Ever.
Since February, after our Philippines trip, I battled with ED once more allowing my weight to reach a new low. It’s been 10 months and I’ve come a long way with the support of my family, Flo, and Adaline. There were days when I would cry after a heavy meal, and Flo would have to spend the evening comforting me, reassuring me and reminding me of why I wanted to recover. I would text Mum and always, she would reply back with love, patience and wisdom. It all seems so far away now because I’m getting stronger. While I am not all the way there, I am on that path and I know I will get there. There – The place where I can have a healthy relationship with food and know that in the grand scheme of things, I have so much more to live for, to worry about, than my eating disorder manipulates me into believing.
In the past year, Flo and I have grown closer to Alex and Amanda. I enjoy spending time with them whether we’re going to watch films together, just being bums together, exploring new foods together, or playing PS4 together. These are memories I will hold in my heart and I hope that the new year will see us holding steadfast to our friendship and creating tighter bonds that will ensure that when Alex and Amanda decide to move out of Singapore, we’ll still be close despite the distance. In this day and age, with WhatsApp and Skype, FaceTime and Facebook, I’m sure it will be a lot easier to keep in touch.
With friends settling down one after the other, I’m glad for the appointments we make with each other whether it’s for a short catch-up over tea/coffee, or over a meal gathering as a group. I’ve also been so happy this year to have had Natasha visit with Jason all the way from Canada, and then Stevie, whom I hadn’t seen in about 20 years (!!), with her husband Allen who got on so well with Flo. And another reunion with Eunice from Junior College, who now resides in Bali. It’s been great!
Mum and Dad have been travelling more often and going on cruises with Grandma and Grandpa. I believe they currently have three cruises lined up next year! I’m glad that they are travelling the world and making more memories together. We have come to realise that health is very much a blessing and while they’re still fit and mobile, they should continue to explore new countries. Also, going with Grandma and Grandpa make them incredibly happy. May the years ahead continue to shower us all with good health and curiosity. As for my dear Kor, I pray for him to be happy in whatever circumstances he is in. As long as he is happy, I am happy.
Work-wise, the last quarter has been extremely busy and while I stress myself out over staying on top of things, I cannot help but gush at how satisfying it has been gathering orders and slowly crossing them off. I have been blessed with the support of regular customers, as well as new customers; I have been challenged with creating cakes that are out of my comfort zone, playing with new flavour combinations, and juggling private orders with cafe orders. Not everyone can say with confidence that they are passionate about their work, but I am. I really am. And my hope is that I will continue to have a steady load of cafe orders and even more private orders where I can push my creativity further.
And of course, Flo. It’s been a topsy turvy ride and as with any other relationship, not always a bed of roses. On my part, I believe I have learned to exercise more patience, to give in more, and to not let my emotions get the better of me as often as I used to. I’m still work in progress but that’s life isn’t it? – A constant move towards perfection even if perfection only exists in God. Flo has been very supportive of me in everything I have chosen to do, often giving me the extra push that I need sometimes. We have travelled to quite a few places together this year – Bintan, the Philippines, Hamburg, London, Yangon, Thailand… And I couldn’t have picked a better travelling partner.
I know that the last year has not been easy for Flo, especially in learning to deal with my ED in the first quarter. Yet, he stuck through with me every step of the way and I wouldn’t be where I am now without his constant words of reassurance, love, and once in a while, tough love.
We have our fair share of arguments but each one admittedly enables us to understand each other better. Communication is something we often try to exercise even when it might be difficult for the other to hear. We are also becoming much better and resolving matters before going to bed so that we can start the day fresh. It’s so easy to be misled by social media and ‘influencers’ about how perfect their relationships appear to be but remember that no one is ever going to take pictures of themselves arguing, and reflections on arguments are often shared with a much milder intensity compared to the reality of it. So even as I gush about Flo and convey the image of us perfect beings within a sphere of perfect love, don’t be fooled because we are far from perfect. There’s a saying that goes “What counts in making a happy relationship is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility”. #Truewordsindeed
2017, it’s been a wild ride and even with the lows, there were so many wonderful highs – one of my BFFs got married and I was her bridesmaid, I learned to dance like nobody’s watching with Flo by my side, I travelled solo to Hong Kong for the first time, I met Flo’s family in Hamburg, I got to start working with Percolate along with my pre-existing cafes, I learned to iron, but best of all, Flo and I survived a whole year living with each other!
I can’t wait to see what the next year has in store for us but I know it will be good.
Sayonara 2017! Hello 2018!