I’ve never been much of a citrus kind of girl. It’s not that I dislike how they taste, I’ve just never found myself drawn towards oranges and lemons and limes even though I have to admit that they are awesome at adding a zing to baked goods as well as salad dressings and avocados! So for some unknown reason, I started thinking about grapefruit.

I’ve probably only eaten grapefruit less than 5 times in my life – I kid you not! And it’s not a citrus fruit that crosses my mind whenever I think of playing with new ingredients for my bakes. The thought of its bitter, sour flavour profile never made me think that it could match easily with much else.

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The other week, I was just itching to bake something new and as I mentioned, grapefruit simply wouldn’t leave my mind. So I went out and got me some because then it meant I would really have to find a way to utilise them. I do silly things like that sometimes.

I cut open the grapefruit which yielded its gorgeous sunset red colour to me and while I braced myself to taste its acridness, I was more than pleasantly surprised to find that it was sweet, with bitter undertones and a touch of tartness – nowhere near the full-on in-your-face bitter-sour I always remembered and thought it to be.

I began to rummage around my pantry to find that I still had half a bag of ground hazelnuts that Flo really wanted for the time he had a mad craving for German Hazelnut Cake. Hmm… Sweet, nutty hazelnuts with the acidic, floral scent of grapefruit? That could work.

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And work it did! It was an unusual combination that tasted so right together. The ground hazelnuts created a slightly denser crumb and I liked that the grapefruit mellowed the sweetness level of the cake. The soaking syrup I used heightened the flavour of the fruit while adding moistness to the loaf. If you prefer, you can add more icing sugar to the grapefruit juice in order to make a thicker icing instead.

Grapefruit Hazelnut Loaf Cakes (Yields 2 small loaves)

150g Butter
120g Sugar
150g Plain Flour
100g Ground Hazelnuts
1 tsp Baking Powder
3 Eggs, whisked together lightly
1/2 Grapefruit, zested and juiced

Soaking Syrup
170g Icing Sugar
1/2 Grapefruit, juiced

  1. Cream butter with sugar until light and fluffy.
  2. Alternate addition of wet and dry ingredients ending with dry (i.e. flour, ground hazelnuts and baking powder vs eggs and juice of 1/2 grapefruit)
  3. Pour batter into baking tins and bake 35-40min until golden brown or skewer inserted comes out clean.

For soaking syrup:

  1. Whisk icing sugar with juice of 1/2 a grapefruit until mixture is smooth.
  2. Allow the cakes to cool before pouring icing on top. If you prefer your icing thicker, add more sugar and if you prefer a thinner glaze, use more juice. 

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Now while you dig into these delicious cakes…

If you have been following my blog for some time now, you’ll know that I sometimes share updates about my journey towards attaining a healthy relationship with food and with myself with the help of my family, Flo and my psychologist. Right now, I’m kind of experiencing a bit of a plateau, not feeling much like progressing upwards but also trying hard not to fall back.

I guess recent events regarding loss in the family, and then scampering around trying to cater to the whims of older relatives have been stressing me out. That, as well as the instability of work. Sometimes, I don’t seem able to recognise stress so well and only when I begin to crave my ED, do I realise that perhaps I’ve been holding back on acknowledging my emotions a lot more than I thought. It’s certainly not the best way of stress management but it helps me to feel safe and anchored. And like an addiction, falling back onto ED makes me hanker after it more and more.

I was talking to Dr A about how ED is very much an anchor for me and because it’s accessible 24/7, it makes it difficult to look to something or someone else to take its place. Then it kind of hit me the other evening that perhaps it isn’t about finding a substitute for it. Rather, it’s about me learning to trust and depend on myself, and believing that I am strong enough to carry me through life’s highs and lows, and that I should be my own anchor. It doesn’t meant relying on myself 100% all day every day, it just means having faith in myself to get over periods of fear, stress and uncertainty instead of using a crutch.  

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