Into my 5th day living out of home and my first time blogging on a Mac. I just had to change the keyboard configurations because it was programmed to follow a German keyboard where the ‘Z’ and ‘Y’ are in difference places and I ended up having to copy and paste the ‘@’ button because I couldn’t figure out where it was on the board. Thankfully, I very cleverly found that I could input an ‘English’ keyboard under Settings so all’s good now.
I’ve actually managed to impress myself quite a bit with how I’ve been able to fill my time at home since there’s a lull before I begin all my Chinese New Year baking. Just yesterday, I attempted to iron five of Flo’s work shirts. I was initially thinking I’m iron a few more but five was practice enough. They weren’t perfect but uhm…
Not too bad??
I joked with him after that we can always send out laundry down to the laundromat directly below our condo but they’ll iron for money whereas I iron because of love. Same same but different.
I’ve also realised what a noob I am in using cleaning agents and equipment but the learning process is proving to be quite fun. Of course, Mum and Dad get a bit of a laugh out of hearing about my little mishaps here and there but that’s how I learn right? Things like finding out only after I’d vacuumed the entire place, heaving at how strong the darn suction of the vacuum was, only to realise that there’s a dial I could have used to control the strength of the suction. Or spending 10 minutes trying to figure out how to get the spinning mop head onto the handle.
It’s all starting to sink in that this is all for real. At the beginning, it felt like a few days of consecutive sleepovers but now, the surrealism of it all is wearing off and I realise that this is going to be life as I know it now. I am thankful though, that Flo has been immensely supportive of me, and Mum and Dad continually try to help me wherever they can, slowly easing off so that I can swim independently of them.
The other night, I had quite a bit of a struggle after dinner with Florian. He had made me eat a bit more than I was mentally prepared for and that put me in a bit of a mood. He could tell I was upset and cuddled me to soothe me. And in my head, I knew that while I want to be well, I just couldn’t bear the thought of the journey in getting there. It took a while but Flo reminded me that he is always going to be here for me and that we will always find a solution to whatever obstacles before me; that no matter what, we will reach our goal of getting me well, starting a family together, and working at a life together.
Unlike with Mum and Dad, I couldn’t simply throw a strop and rant and rave. In a way, that’s good for me because instead, I reflected more at why I was reacting the way I did over an extra piece of food. It also showed me once more how blessed I am to be with Florian – a man who may not necessarily know the nitty gritties of ED, yet still exercises an immense level of patience and understanding towards me.
In a couple of hours time, he’s taking me somewhere for the weekend. A surprise! I still have little clue as to where we are going or what we’ll be doing. We’re due back Sunday evening so I’ll catch you all up on Monday now that I’ve figured out how to work with an iMac.
Also, just a snippet on something I did yesterday. I was tasked to do a fondant bicep as a cake topper for today and so, I got to work, not quite sure if I’d be able to execute it was well as I’d pictured in my head. I mean, a bicep and forearm are generally not too tricky to sculpt but the hand!? I hate having to draw fingers on hands and moulding it out of fondant was the part I was looking forward to least. Actually, make that the part I wasn’t looking forward to at all.
But… I did it anyway and I think it looks fairly decent. Still not as amazing as I imagined it would be but I’m satisfied. At least it’s something else I can add to my repetoir of fondant figurines!
Ok back to a bit more packing for the weekend and then maybe an episode of Drop Dead Diva while I wait for Flo to come home!! Have a good weekend every one! I can’t believe the first week of the year has already come and gone 😱